Psalm 53

Sometimes I foolishly stop believing, telling myself there is no god
But then I just seem to sink lower and lower
Thankfully, God is patient, waiting for me to once again turn around
My own repeated metanoia
While I, I go my own way, stumbling blindly forward
Finding goodness harder and harder, more elusive, more uncertain
Will I never learn? Will I ever stop letting doubt devour my peace, my faith?
Here I stand – in all the rich irony of that
Overwhelmed with dread when there is nothing to dread
God scatters my doubt
God turns me around
Oh, that God would keep being God, keep saving me
Keep restoring the fortune of my faith
Let me rejoice and be glad in that certain salvation. Amen.

Advertisements

Psalm 54

Save me, O God, by Your name; vindicate me by Your might
Hear my prayer, O God, listen to the words of my mouth
Strange thoughts and fantasies, strange worries and fears
Attack my peace of mind
My life turns from You
Surely You will help me; surely You can turn me back
Banish those unhelpful, negative thoughts and feelings
In Your faithfulness, restore my faith, my peace
Let me live my life honoring You, praising You, giving You credit
For You have delivered me – time and time again – from all my troubles
I can examine my life without fear
Because of Your great power, mercy and love. Amen.

Psalm 55

Listen to me, God, don’t ignore me, hear my need and answer it
For I am troubled and uneasy
As always, my negative thoughts – about myself and others
Undermine my peace, give rise to anger, cause me pain
My world turns dark and deadly, I lose joy, I find only discontent
I imagine life would be better, easier, more worthwhile if I were different
If I were some place different, if others changed
I imagine I can outrun my storms
That’s hopeless. I have only one real hope: You, God, You
You are my hope, my salvation
You can bring beauty and peace, order out of chaos
Strength to my interior castle
You can make it worthy of Your throne
The parts of myself that I value most – my intellect, my compassion even
These can turn against me when I use them in pride
When I use them to convince myself I am better than others
Let those tendencies die for they are evil within me
Let me call to You, God, my Lady Wisdom, instead
Admitting my weakness, my powerlessness
Evening, morning and noon, help me to turn to You
To remember that You hear me, You help me, You ransom me unharmed
Though my own thoughts try to defeat me, depress me
God, Almighty Wisdom Woman, You and You alone can help me change
You and You alone can teach me to revere You
Oh, I can tell myself fine stories of my understanding and my superiority
I can smooth over my faults but they are killing me
So I need You, my savior God, to sustain me, to uphold what is best in me
To defeat what is worst, to rid me of all that is not good and helpful for me
I trust You. Amen.