Almost Romans 8:28-30

Incredibly, unbelievably, miraculously
All things work for good
For those whom God loves
(And her love knows no limits
Of person, time or place
Infinite love from our infinite God)
We are called according to her grace
For she foreknew everything and everyone
She predestined our salvation
She gave us her own son
That we might conform to his example
And not the expectations of this world
So that he might be the firstborn
Among all her loved children.
As she predestined our salvation
So she calls to the ears of our hearts
And as she calls to us
So she bestows her grace for justification on us
And as she and only she justifies us
So she and only she shares her glory with us
(The only glory worth having
The only lasting glory)
Now and forever

On My Heart

What is on my heart this morning?

This morning
I put on a sundress
underwear
sandals

Those are on my body

But on my heart?

Always under my heart’s clothes
Are decades of Catholic school
Sacraments and rosaries
Pagan babies and Mary, Queen of the May
Memorized prayers and Latin rituals
A fearful God, harsh Father
Ready to condemn me to everlasting torment
Should I break a rule
And fail to be forgiven
By one of His men

But then
With the swing of a cosmic rolling pin
God struck me down with unearned grace

So I rewrote the psalms
In the image of God, loving Mother
Because now
My heart wears grace as a sundress
Fitting lightly
Flowing comfortably
Whether I run or sit
Stumble or fall

My heart wears love as sandals
Protecting my tenderness
From rocky disappointments
From sticky expectations
From burning falseness

This morning
Lady Wisdom
Is on my heart
And I am grateful.

They Left Everything?

When they brought their boats to the shore,
they left everything and followed him. Luke
5:11

Peter had a mother-in-law
Who got up to serve them
As soon as Jesus healed her

Presumably he had a wife
Probably children

Did they eat manna from heaven
While Peter fished men for Jesus?

Then those sons of Zebedee
Were their parents old?
Did they depend on their sons’ fishing?

I am too much daughter, wife, mother
Grandmother
To understand this sparse verse

All of my unanswerable questions
About their families
Their quotidian necessities
Must remind me
Not to depend upon answers
To life, the universe, and everything
Before I accept
Before I believe
Before I worship

Scrutiny

The Spirit scrutinizes everything, even the depths of God. 1 Cor 2:10B
Does the spirit of God scrutinize our depravity
One to another?
When a young woman is murdered in her sleep
By policemen
Does the spirit of God scrutinize her blood soaked sheets?
When a young man is shot seven times in the back
By a policeman
Does the spirit of God scrutinize his screaming children in the back seat?
When a mother drives a 17 year old with his rifle to a neighboring state
To kill people
Does the spirit of God scrutinize her hands on the wheel?
When the President of the United States makes excuses for the 17 year old
Does the spirit of God scrutinize his thoughts?
When I lie awake at night
Too scared for our country to sleep
Does the spirit of God scrutinize the depths of our need?
I long for the comfort of the spirit of God
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Psalm 130:5-6