Psalm 18
I love you, O God, my strength.
God is my strong foundation, my security, my savior
God is my refuge from despair
My shield of hope
My salvation call and my stronghold against doubt
I call upon God, God who is worthy of my praise and adoration
I call upon God because only She can save me
From those terrible Ds
Death, destruction, despair, doubt, depression, distractions
Attack me
Enclose me
Drown me
Entangle me
Trap me
In my distress, I called upon God
To my God, to Sovereign Lady Wisdom, I cried for help
I don’t know, can’t understand where God is
It is enough that I know God heard me
My cry for help found Her and She heard me
Oh my, how the psalmist does picture God’s might for me
I feel my world reeling and rocking
The foundations of my pride and doubt trembling and quaking
Is She angry with me? Or just coming in power to save me?
Stronger than the heavens
Swifter than the wings of the wind
More powerful than the deepest darkness
Bright fire, saving thunder
Arrows of faith piercing my heart
Lightning striking through my disbelief
The waters of my forlorn tears dry up
The universe is revealed as God’s creation
Formed by Her breath
Oh, I agree with the psalmist
God rescued me, rescues me
Not once, but again and again
She lifts me up from depression
She supports me in my faith
She delivers me from doubt
And She delights in me, loves me, cherishes me
But NOT, oh not, because of my righteousness
It is not my hands that are clean
For I have not kept the ways of God
I have departed, again and again, from God
So often have I failed to love others
To see God in others
I am not blameless, I have not kept myself from guilt
And yet, and yet, oh wonders of wonders
God has rescued me because of Her own righteousness
Out of Her own love
This is love, not that I love God, but that She first loved me
Though I was lost in my terrible Ds.
O God, when I am loyal to You, I feel Your loyalty
When I feel good, I feel Your goodness
When I forget You, I think You forget me
When I am lost and unhappy, I think You perverse and fickle
As if I created You, as if I control You
But You are constant, Your are true
You are enduring faithfulness and steadfast love
You are a God of contradictions
Delivering the humble, humbling the proud
The light of faith lights up my darkness
By You, with You, I defeat my terrible Ds
I leap over my wall of doubt and distractions
Lady Wisdom’s way is perfect
Her promises – for me – are true
She is my mother hen protector
Who is Lady Wisdom except YHWH?
Who is my strong foundation except God?
God who strengthens my faith
Lady Wisdom who makes my way safe
She supports me as I walk through life’s challenges
Faith in Her becomes my highest high
In Her I find my surest defeat of my terrible Ds
In Her I find my strongest support
Like a shield, Her love protects me
Like a wide ledge, Her help eases my way
With Her help, I chase away my terrible Ds
“I struck them down, so that they were not able to rise
They fell under my feet”
For God strengthens me and redeems me
God takes care of my enemies, those terrible Ds
That would destroy me
They try, oh they still try, time and again
They tell me they are supreme in my life
But God does not make them supreme
No, She rescues me, She gives me victory
So I can beat my doubt into dust
Trample my depression and rise above it
She delivered me from distractions
She gave me charge over my own life
Supporting me through troubles unknown
Through all of my trials, all of my troubles
Through all the possibilities of my life
God, my Sovereign God, supports me
And gives me victory
(Even when it does no look or feel like victory)
God lives! Blessed be my strong foundation
Exalted be the God of my salvation
God, Sovereign Lady Wisdom, who gives me peace
Who subdues my angers and my discouragement
Who delivers me from my terrible Ds
Exalted God who delivers me from my own violence
For this, O God, I extol you in my whole life
For this, O God, and so much more, I sing praises to Your name
Great triumphs She gives to me
And shows me Her steadfast love
Through all the ages of my life. Amen