HA! This is what I call my singing: making a joyful noise to God
I sing because I love to sing – off-key often, wrong words frequently
But I trust that God hears my singing as praise
As gratitude for Her power to vanquish those enemies
That populate my internal world, those terrible Ds
So that ALL of me can praise God. Please & Praise
Ah, I hope I can remember what God has done for me
Time and time again
When I was drowning in doubt, God dried up my doubt
When I slip in my muddy thoughts and murky feelings
God raises me up to worship
God guards me so that darkness does not swallow me. Please & Praise
So let me bless God, let me go on singing Her praise
God, who has kept me from the death of hope
God, who is not afraid to let me fail, let me wait
God, who infuriates me and refuses to baby me
God, who trusts me to survive all of my own troubles
God, who watches as I am burned by doubt, drowned by depression
God, who waits for me, as I wait for Her
In my spacious space of peace
Let me remember God when I am NOT troubled
Let me remember God when my interior world is peaceful
Let me remember then to praise God
To bring my best to God. Please & Praise
Let me remember to tell myself, often, what God has done for me
What God is
Why I believe, even though I doubt and do not believe
Why I love God, even though I doubt and do not believe
Why I rely on God, even though I doubt and do not believe
Why I trust God, even though I distrust most religion
Blessed be God, who has not rejected me
Or removed Her steadfast love from me
Though I doubt and disbelieve and distrust
Blessed be God. Amen

May God be gracious to me and bless me
May God make Her face to shine upon me. Please & Praise
Oh God, help me to remember Your grace and graciousness
That I might never forget that in You alone do I find salvation
Bring peace and unity, quiet and love to my disordered internal world
That I might praise You wholeheartedly
Let me be glad and sing for joy with and for Your world
Let me remember Your fairness, Your grace
Let me trust You throughout my life. Please & Praise
Bring peace and unity, quiet and love to my disordered internal world
That I might praise You wholeheartedly
You have blessed me even while I am troubled and doubting
You, You, God who is beyond my smallness, have blessed me
Welcoming me, even with my doubts and struggles, into
Your great cloud of witnesses
May You continue to bless me, undeserving though I be
Let me continue to revere You, praise You, thank You
All the days of my life, all the ways of my life. Amen

Let God rise up and scatter my doubts and depression
Let all darkness and despair flee
Evaporate like mist in the sun
Melt like wax in the flame
Let my gladness, my happiness, my joy
Rise up with and to God
Let me sing praises to God
Let me lift up a song into the sky
Because God, my Lady Wisdom, gives me joy
Parent and protector
Provider and freedom fighter
No longer need I be a prisoner of despair
No longer need I live a dry, parched life
God, You lead people out of bondage
God, You keep people safe in the wilderness. Please & Praise
Powerful God, Wisdom God of desert and garden
You save me, time and time again,
Leading me back to faith, to belief, to joy
When You, God, are Ruler of my life
How I love it when my doubts and darkness flee
Disappear in Your power, Your grace
I feel rich, rich in the gold of Your power
The silver of Your grace
Scattering the thought-enemies
The feeling-enemies
Who attack my peace
What do mountains of earthly wealth and power count
Compared to the wealth and power of God’s love
With might, untold unimaginable wisdom
God has conquered the worst of my inner enemies
Has led me to Her own place of refuge
God receives my praise and love
Even those parts of me that struggle
Blessed be the Sovereign God who daily bears me up
God is my salvation. Please and Praise
God is a God of salvation; to God, my Sovereign Lady Wisdom,
I owe my escape from doubt, despair, darkness, defeat
And death. Amen.

Save me, O God, from drowning in my own murky, dark thoughts and fears
I am sinking in that age old slough of despond, under the weight of sin
Sin without number, sin without name, sin separating me from your life-saving buoyant love
Sin drowning me, attacking me, pushing me down, not even my sin
Just general despair at the sinfulness of this world
I feel its hate, I feel its despair, I feel its ugliness
I try to restore what I did not destroy, and I despair, I drown
God, oh God, You know my doubts, You know my conflicts
Am I going to worship You or reject You as myth
Am I going to honor You or forget about You
Am I going for the cynical or the hopeful; the worldly or the spiritual
Am I going to be scornful of my own puny faith
Sometimes I do not know my own mind, my own heart
I laugh at my own faith, doubt my own prayers
I second guess myself and You, O God
Like a drunkard, I wander without clear purpose
I shout and sing when I should quietly listen for You
I know, I know – I have to wait, to wait for Your right time
You will answer me, rescue me, in the abundance of Your steadfast love
You will lift me from the mire of my own doubts, lift me above the deep waters of doubt in which I flounder again and again
“Answer me, O Lady Wisdom, for Your steadfast love is good; according to Your abundant mercy, turn to me. Do not hide Your face from Your servant, for I am in distress – make haste to answer me. Draw near to me, redeem me, set me free” – from my doubts, my second guessing
“I looked for pity, but there was none; for comforters, but I found none.”
I poison my faith with doubts; my inability to be faithful leaves a sour taste in my mouth
It’s up to You, God; You need to destroy these doubts, to keep me faithful
You need to redeem me, save me, help me, comfort me
You need to do it all
“I am lowly and in pain; let Your salvation, O God, protect me.”
I will praise Your name, I will sing, I will give thanks
I long to be a shining example; I want to give hope to the hopeless
I want to have the kind of strong faith that inspires faith
But I am weak, God, and only You are strong
So save me, save us, please
Strengthen me, strengthen us, please
Build me up, build us up, please
So that we can live in Your love and salvation forever. Amen

“Be pleased, O God, to deliver me.” O Wisdom, “make haste to help me!”
End my doubts and confusion; grant me life and peace
Turn away my anger, my humiliation, my disquiet
Before it hurts me, before it destroys me
I envy those who are confident in You
Who rejoice always and are forever glad in their assurance
Of You and Your salvation
Who spend their lives, with no doubts, proclaiming Your greatness
“But I am poor and needy”
So if I am going to have any confidence, any peace
It will have to come from You. Could You hurry a bit, please?
I don’t like to sound impatient, but I really need help
I need a deliverer
And that can only be You. So please don’t delay. Amen