God is great
American is great
Therefore God is American

Abortion is bad
Being on welfare is bad
Therefore poor women are bad

Foreigners are dangerous
Revolutions are dangerous
Therefore immigrants are dangerous

The Civil War ended slavery
Everyone has been equal since then
Therefore black people are greedy

God created two sexes
Man and woman He created them
Therefore gay marriage is a sin

I wanna be a Republican
I want easy answers
I’m tired of thinking