You know the great thing about God?
She isn’t easy to offend.

I haven’t quite figured out
Yet
How to reconcile my easy going deity
With Yahweh the Terrible
Ready to command the slaying of multitudes
Often reluctant to forgive
Without extravagant penitence
Sending His people into exile
Because they just didn’t measure up
Requiring the sacrifice of His own Son
As a criminal on a cross
With lots of blood
In atonement for an ancient offense

Yeah
I learned that God
I knew Him well
Through a fearful childhood
Never dared turn my back on Him
Not for one nanosecond
He would strike me down in His great wrath
So I decided I had better become a nun
Because what else chance had I
Of earning heaven 

Then
A little later
It was years of lonely non-faith
Because I gave up
Easier to stop believing
Than to I accept that
Nun or not
I had NO chance of earning heaven
I just wasn’t ever going to be good enough

But then
A little later again 
Hey Presto! It’s OK!
Remember that gory death
Of God’s own Son?
Well, God Himself 
The Great Yahweh
Earned heaven for us
By that ugly death

Say what?

More years of confused faith
Before I realized that
I might as well believe someone
Earned my height for me
Or my eye color
As earned heaven for me

Meanwhile
Back in those heavenly realms
God the Eternal is 
Forever patient with me
She waits while I ignore Her
She waits while I confuse Her
With theology and theocracy
She out waits my anger
She out waits my preoccupations

She positively lurks
In the corners and shadows
Of my life

And then
When I am ready again
When I greet Her
She grins from ear
To universe-spanning ear
She does a cartwheel over the sun
And tosses the moon from hand to hand
She juggles a few stars
And throws down a sunbeam or two
Weeps torrents of joy
Claps her hands in time with the thunder
Dances through the green grass
Gyrating and grinding like a rock and roll star

Just because She is happy to see me again.