It seems to me that the opposite of automatically rejecting the testimony of some people (e.g., women about sexual assault, people of color about racist acts and words) is NOT automatically accepting their testimony.

Rather it is to reject any automatic reaction and realize that, in many cases, we cannot know the truth without further investigation, and in some cases, we cannot ever know it.

So what are we left with? Can we support hurting individuals while reserving judgment on the veracity of their claims?

Whether it is the physician’s credo “First do no harm” or the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” or the Christ’s second great commandment, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” it seems we are advised to be gentle and considerate in our response.

But what when that is not enough for “our neighbor”? It seems I am faced with several situations where reserving judgment is not enough for the other person. Anything less than a full acceptance of their allegations is characterized as a betrayal.

It seems to me that I then must accept their feeling that I have betrayed them and let them reject me, rather than betraying myself.

But I’m simply not sure. It is a twisty maze, with no obvious way out.