Three days!

THREE DAYS! I spent
In the belly
Of that goddamn whale

Three days! Because You 
YOU
Were so determined 
to have me 
in Nineveh 

Three days! All dark and slimy 
Belched up
Finally
On Nineveh’s beach

So I told them
I warned them
Mighty YHWH
Would smite them

Then they make this big show
Led by their weaselly king
Sackcloth and ashes 
Wailing and gnashing of teeth
Big bloody show

And now You won’t smite them
Smite them, damn You!
Three days!
In a whale
And You won’t smite them
What kind of god are You?
What kind of prophet does that make me?

I’m so angry I could die
Go on, kill me already
Why not?
Why those three days
Of darkness and terror
If You’re going to go all soft again
And spare them all?

Oh no, You won’t smite them
Instead You kill that lovely bush
That shaded me
From YOUR hot sun
Now I suppose You want
Me
To rot in Your hot sun

Probably for three days

Three days of my life!
Three days in a bloody great whale
Vomited up in Nineveh
Why, I ask You, why?

All I ask is that You smite
Every last man, woman, and child,
Every beast and bird
In Nineveh.

But all You smote
Was my bush.

Three days in a whale
And I don’t even get
To see Nineveh
Properly
Smote.

Three days!
To watch a worm-eaten bush
Wither and die.

I’m so angry I want to die.