I live now. I live now. But I worry about the past and the future. I live now, But I worry. About the past and the future, I can do nothing. I live now. But I worry. About the past and the future, I can do nothing, So I seek deep divine stillness to drown worry. I live now. But I worry about the past and the future. I can do nothing, So I seek deep divine stillness to drown worry, And bless my life with the eternal now.
Year: 2023
Mother of Sorrows
Generations call me Mother of Sorrows My son was betrayed, Tortured - murdered On a criminal’s cross Generations call me Blessed among women Believing God grew In my womb Generations come to me Hail Mary, Holy Mary Pray for us Now And at the hour of my death Abraham Ishmael Isaac Moses Mohammed Solomon Jesus Jesus My son My bright-eyed boy Born in Bethlehem A toddler in Egypt Growing strong in Nazareth Sneaking off to stay in Jerusalem Baptized by his cousin (who was holy but a little weird) In the Jordan River Making friends among the fisherman Along the Sea of Galilee Beloved of Mary Magdalene She with those far-seeing eyes My son’s feet knew the dirt Of only one place on earth My son’s native love belonged To only one place on earth My son’s mustard seed Was planted In only one place on earth My son, my husband, and I Knew only one place on earth As home Truly, I am Mother of Sorrows Weeping As battles rage As slaughter abounds As injustice breeds injustice As horrors breed horrors In the land we love My son, my husband and I
Raindrops: A Nested Meditation
We are raindrops. We are raindrops. God sends us falling on Her vast creation. We are raindrops, God sends us. Falling on His vast creation, we are Divine tempest and gentle shower. We are raindrops. God sends us. Falling on Her vast creation, we are Divine tempest and gentle shower. God uses our smallness.
Behold
Behold, said God My creation I call it good Beholden, said God Not to me But to each other Be holding, said God Your earth’s riches Not for me But for you Hold, hold, Hold Hard, said God Not to the beauty of the oil slick But to old leaves that fall to their death That trees may resurrect young leaves Behold and be warned, said Gaia My bounty cannot be wasted by some Lest it be lost by all
Selfish or Selfless?
I would go so far as to opine that if the only purpose for contemplative prayer is self-improvement, then it is not contemplative prayer at all but simply a trendy form of self-aggrandizement. On the other hand, I also believe that my daily times of contemplative prayer and readings are a positive and necessary contribution to peace, keep me more firmly rooted in that “great cloud of witnesses” who change the world, and greatly help me stay focused and energized for work with and for others.
A Mosquito Bite
The mosquito bite just above my left ankle smaller by far than a freckle preoccupies me IT itches Don’t scratch! I examine IT closely: A small red mark slightly puffy IT fascinates me I rub IT I try to ignore IT I slather on aloe vera I rub IT some more I focus on ignoring IT I inspect IT closely No visible change I rub IT some more sneak in a stealthy scratch or two I return to ignoring IT Pretend to ignore IT That mosquito bite just above my left ankle smaller by far than a freckle IT owns me
A Nested Meditation
God is the be in beholding. God, is the be in beholding the way You hold us in Your love? God is the be in beholding. The way You hold us in Your love becomes ever deeper, wider as we age. God is the be in beholding. The way You hold us in Your love becomes ever deeper, wider as we age. Thanks be to God who beheld Her creation and called it good.
Woody-Made
Rumbling in the background The traffic on 29 North Just beyond the small strip mall That is itself just beyond The back of the back Of our backyard Before Woody Beyond my back yard’s lawn Was an old basketball hoop Imbedded in concrete In the middle of opportunistic trees In the back of the back Then Woody landscaped That back of the back Seven years ago The year we pretend-married The year after we met Landscaped is such a sedate word For weeks of wheelbarrowed rocks Broken up concrete Sawed up wood And digging Digging, digging, digging Measuring, shaping Until the back of the back Once forsaken Once resigned to strip mall intrusions Became our shade garden Made by Woody Entered through an archway Made by Woody Covered by Carolina jasmine With sometimes sweet yellow flowers Planted by Woody Down the three broad stone steps Planned and created by Woody Into the cool shade garden With the Woody-made stream Flowing into the Woody-made pond Adorned with the Woody-made large Japanese lantern Surrounded by Woody-planted shade-loving flora Alive with goldfish bought, not made, by Woody We walk the brief paths Woody and I We cross the low arched wooden bridge Woody-made, of course, To span the Woody-made Small stream Woody says that every rock In our shade garden Every rock, large and small, He moved at least four times He estimates Until he created Over much longer than six days A not-natural but Woody-made oasis In the back of our back I want to be the one Always To love and be loved by Woody
Contentment
Shall I embody spirituality Or perhaps spiritualize embodiment? Shall I live in mindfulness Or perhaps self-forgetfulness? Shall I embrace non-duality Or perhaps duel with the universe? Shall I worship God Or Gaia? Ah, no Please excuse me I am going to my rocker on our back porch The carved wooden one my children gave me One Mother’s Day in Calgary In the last millennium I will cushion my old back With the red cushion my mother crocheted A few years ago Before arthritis claimed her ability To work with red cotton thread I will sit Rock gently While admiring the green and yellow leaves Of our weeping cherry And the now empty robin nests Snuggled in the porch rafters Still echoing the pleas of hungry fledglings Fall is coming And I am content
Opposites
It seems to me that the opposite of automatically rejecting the testimony of some people (e.g., women about sexual assault, people of color about racist acts and words) is NOT automatically accepting their testimony.
Rather it is to reject any automatic reaction and realize that, in many cases, we cannot know the truth without further investigation, and in some cases, we cannot ever know it.
So what are we left with? Can we support hurting individuals while reserving judgment on the veracity of their claims?
Whether it is the physician’s credo “First do no harm” or the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” or the Christ’s second great commandment, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” it seems we are advised to be gentle and considerate in our response.
But what when that is not enough for “our neighbor”? It seems I am faced with several situations where reserving judgment is not enough for the other person. Anything less than a full acceptance of their allegations is characterized as a betrayal.
It seems to me that I then must accept their feeling that I have betrayed them and let them reject me, rather than betraying myself.
But I’m simply not sure. It is a twisty maze, with no obvious way out.
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