Do you ever feel
What?
Where are the right words?
The words of not self-doubt exactly
Not imposter syndrome exactly
…
Wait
Perhaps I dismiss that too easily

In a world of academics
Who treasured the memories
The robed colors
The teachers and mentors
Some now famous
At least in the circumscribed specialty world
That was almost all their world
In that world
I was always an imposter
To myself

My value of those achievements
Never what was expected

Now, as that world recedes ever further
My universe expands
While seeming to contract
Ah, the beauty of the unknown unoccupied spaces
Between starry pinpointed lights

Ah, the relaxation as I surrender
Willing captive to that spaciousness
That empties me

And yet, again, into that delicious emptiness
Flows the ego’s certainty
I stumble where others glide
A skater on thin ice
A turkey among ducks
A plodder in my depleted soul
A blind person with delusions of vision
I am but an imposter
I do not belong

These are the thoughts
The feelings
The certainties
The dangerous aliens
All too familiar
That would crowd out the starlight