A Riff on Psalm 42

What do I know about deer? Only that there are too many of them
They keep getting killed by cars and trucks
But I know about dry and thirsty souls
Feeling that my mind is parched, my soul is shriveled
Was it P, P & M who sang about the woman at the well?
“Jesus met the woman at the well…
She went running, crying, ‘God help me.’”
I’m a woman, dry and thirsty, at Your well of eternal water
God, help me
I can’t say that I cry – even crying is too active
I can’t even say that I am waiting
I’m just kind of hibernating, shriveling, longing
Trying to remember what it felt like to be confident
To feel blessed, under Your protection, Mighty One,
To join others with songs and shouts of joy and praise
It’s not like it was long ago – there are moments, more than moments
When I live even now within that joy and hope and friendship
But then why do I still get so downcast? Why so parched again?
Why so disturbed within myself? Why so hopeless?
Back and forth I go, between hope and despair, between love and loss
“Deep calls to deep”, the psalmist says
“All Your waves and breakers have swept over me”
Some days I feel You with me, some nights I’m content
Your song and prayer fill my life
Then again I start feeling like You have forgotten me
That there is nothing in my life but mourning and regret
Oppressed by my own doubts, feeling more dead than alive
Questioning, doubting, crying, Where are You, God?
Why do I struggle so, again and again? Why is my peace of mind so fragile?
Give me Your everlasting water, that I may never thirst again
And the psalmist tells me
Put your hope in God for you will yet praise God
God, your Savior. Amen.

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One thought on “A Riff on Psalm 42

  1. O God. The Living God. The Living God. What to do about the future? Thank you for your words. I am so judgmental, I love your poetry, O My God. The waterfalls of thy love, the Psalmist says. Nights forever. I am reminded of St. John: the world knew Him not. The world sometimes does walk in darkness. O Psalmist, was it he, that pedestrian, who told you, “Where Is Thy God?” Was it a shadow of an evildoer? You Are Goodness. Spread your goodness to us all. Include me in Your work. I beseech Thee.

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