Prayer on a Facebook Post

[The italicized parts are a Facebook post that is currently being copied widely.]

I need to rant for just a moment. I’m getting old and I’ve worked hard all my life. I have made my reputation, the good and the bad, I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I have worked hard to get where I am in life.

THANK YOU, GOD, FOR GIVING ME THE STRENGTH TO WORK.

I have juggled my job, my family, and made many sacrifices up front to secure a life for my family. It wasn’t always easy and still isn’t, but I did it all while maintaining my integrity and my principles. I’ve never put anyone beneath myself or denied help to anyone. I have friends of every walk of life and if you’re in my circle, it should be understood that I don’t have to remind you of what I’d be willing to do for you. However….

THANK YOU, GOD, FOR GIVING ME FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND ENOUGH TO SHARE.

I’m tired of being told that I have to “spread the wealth” to people who don’t have my work ethic. People who have sacrificed nothing and feel entitled to receive everything.

HELP ME, GOD, TO REMEMBER TO JUDGE NOT LEST I BE JUDGED.

I’m tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it themselves.

THANK YOU, GOD, THAT I LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT CARES FOR ITS PEOPLE.

I’m tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which, no one is allowed to debate.

THANK YOU, GOD, THAT I LIVE BETTER THAN ALMOST EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER LIVED.

I’m tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of all parties talk like their opinions matter to the common man. I’m tired of any of them even pretending they can relate to the life and bank account that I have.

THANK YOU, GOD, THAT MY LIFE HAS ENTERTAINMENT AS WELL AS WORK.

I’m tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor..

SOMETIMES I AM CRANKY, HELP THOU MY SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.

I’m tired of being told I need to accept the latest fad or politically correct stupidity or befriending a group that’s intent in killing me because I won’t convert to their point of view.

SOMETIMES I RESIST LEARNING NEW WAYS OF THINKING, HELP THOU MY STUBBORNESS.

I’m really tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. Especially the ones that want me to fund it. I’m tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems.

SOMETIMES I FORGET WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR, HELP THOU MY UNDERSTANDING.

Yes, I’m really tired. But, I’m also glad to be in the second half of my life. Because, mostly, I’m not going to have to see the world these people are creating. I thank God I’m on the way out and not on the way in. I just HATE the fact that my children and grandchildren are having to face this screwed up world. I want them to grow up understanding their freedoms of living in America, have respect for authority and the older generation who risked or sacrificed their lives to give us the rights we currently have in America.

THANK YOU, GOD, FOR YOUNGER GENERATIONS WITH STRENGTH AND HOPE AND THEIR OWN VISIONS.

No one is entitled to anything. You have a choice to work, a choice to stay off drugs, a choice to make something of yourself. I have nothing to do with your choice. That’s all on you. You are entitled to what you earn.

THANK YOU, GOD, THAT I DON’T HAVE TO EARN YOUR GRACE AND LOVE.

“This is what love is: it is not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the means by which our sins are forgiven.” 1 John 4:10

Oh yeah…GOD BLESS… THE WORLD

From Revelation to Rodgers & Hammerstein

“A great portent appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pangs, in the agony of giving birth…And she gave birth to a son, a male child who is to rule all the nations..her child was snatched away and taken to God and to his throne; and the woman fled into the wilderness, where she has a place prepared by God.”

I feel a great dragon of rage
Rise up within me
Wanting to devour that male child
Taken away from the laboring woman
Taken to God
Destined to rule
While the bereft mother
Flees into the wilderness

Here, here
Is the worst, the hardest
Of Christianity

Exalted male child
Discarded woman

I read and pray
How to turn this around
What to learn from this
What is meant for a woman
To understand from this

So I read on
Through Michael and his angels
Throwing down the dragon
Who is Satan

Until
“when the dragon saw that he had been thrown down to the earth, he pursued the woman who had given birth to the male child. But the woman was given the two wings of the great eagle, so that she could fly from the serpent into the wilderness, to her place where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time. Then from his mouth the serpent poured water like a river after the woman, to sweep her away with the flood. But the earth came to the help of the woman; it opened its mouth and swallowed the river that the dragon had poured from his mouth.”

I know I should read further
I know I shouldn’t stop
Just because I like this part

But I do stop
I stop to enjoy
A woman with great wings
And Mother Earth rescuing a mother

It’s not that I reject Father God
And His Son, Jesus,
My Lord and Master

But I am a woman
And I need some balance

“He is pleased with me!
My Lord and Master
Declares he’s pleased with me—

What does he mean?
What does he know of me
This lord and master?
When he has looked at me what has he seen?”

Just a woman
Who has done her part
Given birth
And now can be sent into the wilderness?

God, I hope not.

Kintsugi

[Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.]

Four marriages?!
What are you,
a movie star?

19 years old
A first marriage
Introduced me to mountains
And gave me a mother-in-law
Who got me back into college
But broke

The silver repair:
24 years old
7 months pregnant
A second marriage
Brought me to England
And Canada
And gave me three amazing children
But broke

The gold repair:
42 years old
5 years separated
A third marriage
Brought me to church
And new friendships
In my new again old country
Until death did us part

The platinum repair:
68 years old
13 years widowed
An unexpected fourth marriage
Brought me to a gently loving man
Renewed passion
And laughter

The potter formed me
Life broke me
Love repaired me

From Matthew 18

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones,
…it is not the will of your heavenly Father
that one of these little ones be lost.”

I search for the little one
who was Jesus of Nazareth
Jeshua Bar Joseph
Mary grown
Stable born
Roman crucified

Jesus of Nazareth
(“Can anything good come from Nazareth?”)
Itinerant preacher
Gentle healer
Samaritan friend

I search in the great wind
of cathedrals and congregations
but I cannot hear him there.

I search in the earthquake
of politics and persuasions
but I cannot hold onto him there.

I search in the fire
of righteous rebellion
Even there, I follow
what I know of him
but I cannot feel him by my side

I wait for the sheer silence
My deaf ears long for silence
My blind eyes long for night
My fragile arms long for rest
My paralyzed legs long for stillness
My stupidity longs for dumbness

I have had enough of the Christ
So I search for Jesus
My mouth filled with the bitter herbs
Of my arrogance

John 12:24-26

They say He said:
“unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains just a grain of wheat;
but if it dies, it produces much fruit.”

I ask:
Am I a grain of wheat
that I must fall and die
to yield fruit?
Or am I a woman
who has grown and lived
and borne children?

They say He said:
“whoever hates his life in this world
will preserve it for eternal life.”

I ask:
How do I love my neighbor as myself
if I hate my life in this world?
Or can I learn what to love here and now
and so for all eternity?

They say He said:
“The Father will honor whoever serves me.”

I ask:
Am I to seek honor
from a heaven Father?
or should I learn to honor
our Mother Earth?

Matthew 14:18-33

He fed those who came
Though they brought no food

He sent away those who followed him
Though they would have stayed

He went by himself to pray
Though many needs tugged at him

He walked through wind and water
Though the waves were high

He caught Peter, lifted him up
Though his faith was small

He accepted their praise
Though he saw the cross

To follow him:
Feed others
Give others independence
Seek quiet
Walk unafraid
Help someone
Accept praise
Accept defeat

God, help me

A Lady’s Prayer

My mother who is Earth
Hallowed be thy world
Thy kingdom is here
My will is thy survival
Now and for the future
You give me every day
My daily bread
You have forgiven me my trespasses
Even as I have too often ignored you
Please, lead me into greater kindness
Deliver me from selfishness
For thine is my kingdom
In you is my power and future
And glory
For all of my life
Amen

Turnings

I was young and white
In New Orleans
In the middle years
Of the last century
Before the millennium
Turned

Everywhere
Everything
Was signed
“Whites Only”
“Colored”

To turn away
From a colored person
Was expected
Casual cruelty

Colored was dangerous
Colored was dirty
Colored was other

I had to learn
To unlearn
The inbred racism

I had to learn
To share my world
To turn towards

Yesterday
I left a store
As a black woman entered
We met in the doorway
Turned our masked faces
Away from each other
And said a mutual muffled
Thank you

And so
In the twentieth year
Of a new millennium
I learn that turning towards
Can sometimes look like
Turning away

Weariness

Wednesday, family arrives
From Mississippi
What is riskier
Letting them stay
Or refusing?

How safe is the Instant Teller?
The exercise class?

Saturday, Mom’s left leg is swollen
What is riskier for 96?
Weekend walk-in
Or wait until Monday?

Can I safely shop for groceries
Or should I have them delivered?

Tuesday, the toilet clogs
Do we take it apart ourselves
Or call a plumber?

Can we meet friends for dinner
On a restaurant patio?

If I have friends over
To play bridge with Mom
How do I know they really have been
Isolating and distancing?

Children need school
Mom needs friends
I need activities

Or do we?

Be still,
And know that I am God
Was just about OK
In the Bible

But when did a virus
Become God
Demanding stillness?

I grow weary, resentful
And yet, and yet
I know

I know enough
To

Be still
Be patient
Be wise
Be wary

And know we can survive

Welcome Home

Four flowers bloom
Lifting high on slender stalks
Rooted to a burnt dragon’s egg
Soon cooled in a silver sea

Those flowers
Silken and strong
Lift laughter and gladness
Burst into silent song
No less strong
For being unsung

Return to earth
Creaking, groaning, hurting home
Under the strong blooms
Slowing the fall
From disaster to triumph

Men in masks
Worn as casually as pants
Welcome home
Our latest returning
Single combat warriors

Roots of this celestial plant
Flow wide and deep
To Kennedy and Khrushchev
Bloomed first in coldness
Harvested by military
Bloom now in over-heated earth
A tesla harvest

Garden breaths
Gentle, grateful
Watching that dragon seed
Birth space dads