Contra Gratitude

((h/t Amy Schumer’s Gratitude sketch

Thank You God for Most This Amazing
poem by e. e. cummings

I don’t want to write, inspired by it,
But rather to read it again and again
Until I sink, completely, irretrievably, into
The quicksand of thanksgiving

I want to smother in thanksgiving
Forcing the air of trite, culturally now gratitude
Out of my reluctant lungs

Smother until I am forced to breathe in
The gritty moist sand of thanksgiving
The sand that drowns my lungs
Forcing out the last molecules 
Of easy gratitude

I almost kill myself
Reaching reaching
For the unattainable
Illusory total gratitude
Even as I sink further into
This quicksand reality
Leaving above facile gratitude
Drowning in thankfulness

Though there be no bottom
No slide down into a starlit
Infinity of universes
To then whoosh through
With all the skill of current CGI

I will live
I will learn to breathe in
Tearingly gritty, tearfully moist

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