Psalm 138

I give You thanks, O God, with my whole heart
Before all the demands of my life
I pause to sing Your praise
May that be true even when I feel too busy
Let me be grateful for my times and places of worship
Let me thank You for your steadfast love
For Your faithfulness
Let me remember
That Your name and Your Word are exalted
Above everything in my life
When I call on You, when I come crying to You
You answer me
You increase the strength, the peace of my soul
Through all the demands of my life
Let me praise you, O God, my Lady Wisdom
Let me pause to hear Your words for me
Let me sing – to myself – of Your mercy
Of Your great glory
For though You are Sovereign, almighty God
You help me, time and again
Only when I trust to my own goodness
Only when I become proud of my own knowledge
Do You seem far from me
Until I remember, again
That though I walk in the midst of trouble
You protect me and preserve my spirit
You deliver me from my troubles
You will fulfill Your purpose for me
Because Your steadfast love endures forever
Still, I cannot stop myself from pleading with You
Remember me, remember You created me
Remember me, remember You saved me
Do not forsake me. Amen

Psalm 139

O God, You know me, my work and my play

You know my best and my worst

My most secret and my most public

You know all my ways

You know my thoughts before I speak them, even to myself

You are here, with me, through my whole life

I don’t understand it, I don’t even always believe it

But there it is

I can’t hide from You

Whether I am elated or depressed

Whether I am confident or dismayed

Whether I am filled with faith or doubt

Even when I decide You don’t exist

You lead me, You love me, You hold me fast

Even when I am sure my life will be darkness forever

Even then, I am not darkness to You

I am still bright with Your love and faithfulness

It is just that I close my eyes to You

And then think that only darkness exists

But You have been with me from my very beginning

Because of You “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”

Because You are good and I am made in Your image

I cannot make sense of eternity

I cannot understand how You know my future

And yet I have free will

I could drive myself crazy trying to figure that one out

And in the end, I come back to the wonderful mystery of You

O that You would take care of my troubles once and for all, God

You redeemed me, You saved me, once and for all

Yet still I struggle, still I try – and fail – to be good, to do good

Go ahead, God, and search me

Root out all the parts of me that cause me pain, that disappoint You

Lead me in Your truth and love, in Your everlasting way. Amen

Revenge, Forgiveness and Jesus

“…Christ Jesus who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself…” Philippians 2:6-8

The sweet spot of revenge
Is power reclaimed
I am better than the other

The sourness of revenge
Is power abused
I am just like the other

The sweet spot of forgiveness
Is pride reasserted
I am better than the other

The sourness of forgiveness
Is pride abused
I am just like the other

The sweet spot of Christ
Is forgiveness
Without pride
Without power

I am who am
I am just like the other

Psalm 140

Deliver me, O God, from my own evil

Protect me from my own violence

Keep me from unhealthy preoccupations

Keep me from anger and envy

Keep me from speaking ugliness and hurt

Please and thanks

Guard me O God, from my own wickedness

Protect me from my own violence to my spirit

The violence that traps me

In quicksand discouragement and doubt

Keep me from the trap of arrogance

Guide me away from the snares and nets

Of envy and anger, vengefulness and regret

Please and thanks

You are my God, my Lady Wisdom

So, please, hear me, answer me, deliver me

Stay inside my mind, stay in my thoughts

Do not give place to my ugly enemies

Please and thanks

Let my envy dissolve into gratitude

Let my anger burn away into compassion

Let my doubt be buried beneath faith

Let my words be generous and kind

Let my mind and heart, life and intentions

Be peaceful

I know You help the needy – and I am needy

I know You give justice for the poor

And I am poor in spirit and in faith

Lend me Your righteousness, Your wisdom

That I may give thanks to Your name

And live in Your presence. Amen

 

February 14, 2018

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down

Cheering for basketball shooting
Crying about school shooting

Bread and circuses
Religion and media

Heavy hearts and light distractions
Outrage and powerlessness

We need not ask for whom the bell tolls
Or for whom the shooter aims

But why are the heavens still above
Why does the center still hold

When we know the rough beast
That has slouched to our schools

Again and again
Guns

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Psalm 131

[My Long-time Favorite]

God of my hope, Savior and Spirit, Lady Wisdom
The times I love are the times when I am not preoccupied
With being smart, successful, happy, esteemed, accomplished
The times when I am not looking around to see how everyone else is doing
My heart does not stray outward
My mind does not chase round and round
Worrying about things I can’t control, things I don’t know
Things I’ll never have, things I’ll never understand
Those times, those times are my savasana times with You
My soul is calm and quiet
My contentment is deep
Deep as a child’s quiet in the arms of a loving mother
You are my loving Mother
O please, let me – let me with that great cloud of witnesses
Hope in You from this time on forevermore. Amen.

Psalm 132

God, remember me, take pity on my struggles
I swore – again and again – I swore to You, my God
To make my life Your dwelling place, Your temple
I swore to remember You day and night
Wherever I find myself
In all circumstances
I swore to keep You at the center of my life
To worship only You
Ah, but to do that, I need You to rise up
Rise up in my mind and heart
I need Your own righteousness
Not my failings
I need Your faithfulness
Not my fickleness
I need You to remember me
Before I can remember You
Please do not abandon me
I know Your promises
I know – or at least I was taught
That I too am part of the priesthood of believers
If I could but keep believing Your promises
If I could but keep obeying Your laws
Then I would deserve a throne with You forevermore
Ah, but that is impossible
Here is my only hope
Jesus once told His disciples
“What is impossible for humans, is possible for God”
So, please, God make me Your resting place
Sooth my troubled spirit so that You can reside with me
Bless me, satisfy me, save me
Cause me to shout with joy
Light my way
Defeat my doubts, my distress
Crown my life with Your peace. Amen

Psalm 133

How good and pleasant my life is
When my spirit is peaceful
When my belief is untroubled
Such times soothe my soul
Like soft oil soothes my skin
Sometimes, I feel that
Life feels easy
Sometimes, I feel that
“The quality of mercy is not strained
But falls as a gentle rain”
Sometimes, I feel that
God has blessed my life forevermore.
Thank God for those times. Amen