Psalm 22

(OK, this feels just a bit presumptuous; this to me is the psalm of the cross and even though I don’t always accept the Gospel version as necessarily reality, it still feels like something I should not mess with)

My God, my God, I feel like You have forsaken me
(even though I may deserve to be forsaken; that has never been Your way)
You seem to be so far from saving me, so far from my groaning and moaning
I feel like I cry out to You day and night, but get no answer
Aren’t You the holy one, the eternal one, God almighty of Israel
Yada yada yada
Wasn’t I taught that all of those great cloud of witnesses
Trusted You and were not disappointed
What about me? What am I, a worm?
You know what it feels like to be paranoid?
To worry that everyone is looking down on you
Secretly insulting you, shaking their heads
Saying it’s too bad, what a waste, she had such promise
God help her since about all she has left is God
OK, so maybe all I ever had was You
That’s certainly what I was taught
Didn’t really have to be taught it – I learned it in the womb
So come on, don’t give up on me
I feel threatened, threatened by my own bull-headedness
Threatening by the beasts of my own darkness
The ones that chew up my confidence and spit it out in little pieces
The ones that make me feel powerless, like a scarecrow
With all the stuffing gone, a poor limp thing that crows nest on
I feel like death, ready to be eaten by dogs, beaten by life
Mourned over, gloated over, ignored, naked
So I guess I’m counting on You, God, to be my strength
To come quickly to help me
To save me from my own dark and fearsome terrors
From my own depression and despair
From the ravaging beasts of my self-doubts and delusions
The psalmist promises to declare Your name, to praise You
I have to admit that I often forget to do that
“Praise God, honor God, Revere God,” instructs the psalmist
I promise to try but You know that even to do that I need You
So don’t hide Your face from me
Please answer my cries for help
Then let me use Your blessings to help other
Not just to praise You to others, with others
But to truly help those in need; help me to do my part
All my life, let me know You and turn to You
Let me bow down before You, my Creator God
Let me know that what I do, I do only through You
What I have, I have only through You
Who I am, I am only through You
Let my life speak to my children and grandchildren, my family and friends
Let my life show Your greatness not my fears
Let my life show Your strength not my weakness
Let my life show Your righteousness not my failings
Let my life show that You have done what needed to be done.
Amen.

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One thought on “Psalm 22

  1. O Pancrator…..ALMIGHTY.
    Thank you. Let me too continue a nice prayer, a litany for Thee.
    I am like a deer in the headlights before your wisdom, your power, your majesty, and your calm and modesty also. God, bless us. God, let us pause. God.
    I am that scarecrow. Let the crows not eat me, as she writes there. As we hope for goodness in the frame of this our lives.
    GOD: My heart is like wax, it hath melted within me.
    GOD:All those who go down to the dust, shall worship You.
    Thank you, Adrienne.
    amens and till another time

    Like

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