Psalm 59

Ah, again, God, please – You know well what I need
I am weak but You are strong; I am child but You are God
So deliver me already, bring me back to You
Defend me from my own darkness
The darkness that wants to eat my life, swallow my faith
Always, always, it lies in wait, just beyond my last prayer
When I choose mindless entertainment over thoughtful peace
When I wander in my purpose, my thoughts, my life
When I lie in bed, sleepless at night, reluctant to wake in the morning
When those dark and dangerous Ds overwhelm me
When I feel sorry for myself – what have I done to deserve this?
Don’t I get easy happiness? Don’t I get lasting peace?
Don’t I get to love and be loved?
You are God, aren’t You?
Mighty God of Sarah and Ruth, Esther and Mary
So rouse Yourself and do – again – for me what I cannot do for myself
Night after night, day after day, I feel attacked and deserted
My thoughts taste sour; my feelings sting like nettles
I give up
But You, You never give up. You, You, if I could only remember
Remember to watch for You, go to You
Where is my strength, where is my resolve, where is my memory
Gone, all gone
God, God, God, please, please, please, come
Defeat my darkness with Your light
But let me remember the darkness so that I may know
Know that my only safety is hiding in You
Destroy my lies, destroy my pity, destroy my doubts, destroy my pride
Destroy my despair, destroy my anger, destroy my aloneness
Let me know, now and forever, that You rule over my life
Ah, but I will forget, won’t I? I will descend, again, to the tomb
I will wallow, I will sludge, I will drown, I will moan
And You will have to rescue me again
Once and for all, Hebrews says. You did it once and for all
But for me it is one more time, again and again
After my night, comes Your dawn
You open my eyes to see Your light again
You open my mouth to sing Your song again
You open my life to live Your grace again
You are my strength, I sing praise to You
You are my God, my fortress and my Wisdom Woman
You are God, on You I rely.

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