Psalm 109

Ah, God, wasn’t it just yesterday
When I joyously proclaimed
Your victory in my life
Didn’t I rest and arise within Your victory
And now, here I am
Feeling defeated
Here I am, about to rant
I am tired, God
I am tired of waiting for You to finally banish
My terrible foes
You know the ones, the ugly ones
The ones who scorn my prayers
How often have I named them for You
How often have they driven me from You
Doubt tells me You do not exist
Depression tells me I am worthless
Despair tells me this world is hopeless
Darkness tells me there is no light
Dis-ease tells me there is no quiet
Discouragement tells me to forget prayer
Distractions claim my attention
Bind them, burn them, banish them
Bury doubt in Your reality
Build Your mighty fortress to imprison depression
Bring hope to my hopelessness
Bank Your bright fires against my darkness
Be healing balm to my dis-ease
Blot out my discouragement
Bring my attention back to You
May this be how You, God, deal with my terrible Ds
That whisper and then shout evil
Poisoning my peace
Out of the goodness of Your love, Lady Wisdom
Deliver me
For I am poor and needy
And my heart is wounded within me
My hope, my joy fade away like evening shadows
I don’t like myself, I don’t like my choices
Help me, Lady Wisdom
Save me through Your unfailing love
Help me remember Your blessing
Help me believe Your power
Power to help me, power to save me
Your power with me always. Amen

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