Do you know, I was just thinking
Looking at myself in the bathroom mirror
Electric toothbrush buzzing in my mouth
While admiring the sparkle and slight wave
In my just-washed-today hair
I was thinking
Wondering, really
When in the history of all that is holy
Did God become that demanding school teacher
The one we both admired and feared
But mainly desperately wanted to give us
An A+, or at the very least, an A
With a smiling “Well done”?

On second thought,
I don’t really care when
In the history of the divine it happened
But when and why it happened to me
And, mainly, urgently,
How the bloody hell do I banish
It, her, him
That school marm master
Whom I am always trying to please
And never quite succeeding?