Psalm 10

Why, O God, do I keep You at a distance
Just when I need You most
In my arrogance, I turn to my weakest parts
I catch myself up in my own twisted thoughts
I pay attention to all the wrong feelings
I dwell on the lowest of my desires
And forget You
Forget to seek You
In all my thoughts, I make no room for You
I puff myself up, I sneer at those I do not like
I forget Your love and forgiveness
Briefly, briefly, I feel so full of myself
So pleased with my own successes
I boast to myself of my insight
I win arguments and put down those I am angry with
All in my own mind
Instead of remembering “God is here”
I keep coming back and back to my anger, my hurt pride
My thoughts ambush my peace, murder my quiet
Drag my contentment through the mud of my discontent
Until I collapse under my own unkind thoughts
Then I am likely to decide that God has forgotten me
When really I have forgotten God
So rise up in my mind, please, O God
Help my helplessness
Restore my peace
Keep me from being my worst
You do see my trouble and grief
You can take it in hand
I commit myself to You
You are the helper of the helpless
Break through my anger and discontent
God is Sovereign for ever and ever
Darkness disappears in God’s light
You hear, O God, my desire when I am afflicted
By my own weaknesses and failings
You encourage my goodness, my strength
You listen to my cry for help
You defend me against my self-destruction
I have to believe that You can free me
From the terror of my own anger. Amen.

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