Why, O God, do I keep You at a distance
Just when I need You most
In my arrogance, I turn to my weakest parts
I catch myself up in my own twisted thoughts
I pay attention to all the wrong feelings
I dwell on the lowest of my desires
And forget You
Forget to seek You
In all my thoughts, I make no room for You
I puff myself up, I sneer at those I do not like
I forget Your love and forgiveness
Briefly, briefly, I feel so full of myself
So pleased with my own successes
I boast to myself of my insight
I win arguments and put down those I am angry with
All in my own mind
Instead of remembering “God is here”
I keep coming back and back to my anger, my hurt pride
My thoughts ambush my peace, murder my quiet
Drag my contentment through the mud of my discontent
Until I collapse under my own unkind thoughts
Then I am likely to decide that God has forgotten me
When really I have forgotten God
So rise up in my mind, please, O God
Help my helplessness
Restore my peace
Keep me from being my worst
You do see my trouble and grief
You can take it in hand
I commit myself to You
You are the helper of the helpless
Break through my anger and discontent
God is Sovereign for ever and ever
Darkness disappears in God’s light
You hear, O God, my desire when I am afflicted
By my own weaknesses and failings
You encourage my goodness, my strength
You listen to my cry for help
You defend me against my self-destruction
I have to believe that You can free me
From the terror of my own anger. Amen.

O God, how many are my discouraging thoughts
How often they rise up against my peace
Many times I say to myself
“It’s hopeless. There is no God to deliver me.”
But here is what I want to believe
That You are a shield around me
That You bestow glory on me and lift up my life.
So to You I turn and cry aloud in my mind
Praying You will answer me from heights of holy hope
When I lie down and sleep
When I wake again, sustain me, please
Remind me
That I need not fear
The tens of thousands of discouraging thoughts
Ready to defeat me on every side, in every effort
Rise, Rise up above those pitfalls, oh my soul
Rise up to goodness and light
Deliver me, O my God
From the gaping mouths and sharp teeth
Of depression and despair,
From dark images and defensiveness
The God of light brings deliverance
May your blessing be on me as one of your people. Amen.

Please answer me when I call to You
O my righteous God
Relieve my distress
Have mercy and hear my prayer
Otherwise, on my own, I turn glory into shame
I delude myself and seek false gods. Please & Praise
I need to remember that God has set apart the godly for goodness
I need to remember that God will hear me when I call
I truly do not want anger and envy to rule my life
When I lie in bed each night and search my heart
I want to find peace and silence. Please & Praise
I want to know that I have made good choices
That I have trusted in God
With many others, I ask “Who can show us any good?”
We can find the answer in the light of Your shining face, O God
Looking back on my life, I realize that You have filled my heart with greater joy
Than any riches or benefits, honors or achievements
When I remember this, I can lie down and sleep in peace
Knowing that in You alone, O God, I dwell in safety and goodness. Amen.

Hear my words and my sighs, O God
Hear my cry for help, my sovereign God
For I don’t know where else to turn but to You
In the morning, every morning,
I will lay my needs before You
And then wait with hope
Knowing that You do not promote wrong-headedness
You destroy lies, envy and deceit
Only by Your great mercy will I be able to come into Your house
And bow down to You
Only if You lead me in Your merciful righteousness
Away from the wrongness that is the enemy I fear
Only if You make straight Your way for me
Away from the crooked wrong way
Where I can’t trust my own thoughts or feelings
Away from the treacherous sinkholes
Of depression and self-disgust
Deceit and envy
I need Your help, O God, to recognize them
Declare them unworthy
Banish them!
They have no place in merciful righteousness
Love and gratitude, generosity and kindness
Courage and laughter
Faithfulness and light:
Let these have Your protection and help
Be my refuge and gladness
I want to sing with joy
Protect me
Help me to love goodness and rejoice in righteousness
For surely, O God, You bless merciful righteousness
You surround goodness with Your shield. Amen.